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Author: DEWEY FROM DETROIT
Yes, I sat through both the JV and the Varsity games.
- On a stage where Trump was a shoo-in for the “funkiest hair in the room” award, Rand Paul gave him a good fight. Third runner up, Chris Christie – working on a Superman curly cue, or something.
- The Donald was right: debate is definitely not his strong suit. Although he did prove that being blunt for the sake of being blunt has limited usefulness.
- Best closing statement, hands down: Ben Carson
“I haven’t said anything about me being the only one to do anything, so let’s try that.” Carson –said. “I’m the only one to separate Siamese twins. The only one to operate on babies while they were still in their mother’s womb. The only one to take out half of a brain, although you would think if you went to Washington that someone had beat me to it.”
- Second best closing statement: Mike Huckabee
“It seems like this election has been a whole lot on a person who has been very high in the polls, who doesn’t have a clue about how to govern, a person who has been filled with scandals and could not lead,” Huckabee said. “And of course, I’m talking about Hillary Clinton.”
- Best non-closing one-liner: Marco Rubio
“God has blessed the Republican party with many fine candidates. The Democrats can’t find even one.”
- Best non-closing one liner runner up: Scott Walker
“…it’s sad to think right now, but probably the Russian and Chinese government[s] know more about Hillary Clinton’s email server than do the members of the United States Congress…”
- Best random story, also Ben Carson:
“You know, I was asked once by an NPR reporter why I don’t talk about race that often and I said it’s because I’m a neurosurgeon.”
- Most Presidential looking on stage: Jeb Bush. Butt how’d that work out for you last time America voted for the guy with the best creased pant leg? On further reflection, I’d give the “most presidential” designation to Carly Fiorina.
- Strong and steady award – Tie: Ted Cruz and Scott Walker
- Best break out by a dark horse (can I say that?) candidate: Carly Fiorina. Everything The Donald claims to be without the bombast.
- Average amount of popcorn consumed during the non-dinner hour Republican debate: 2 quarts, or more.
- Ditto on average tea trolley consumption.
- Worst post-debate nightmare: The 2016 Presidential contest comes down to a choice between “Just Joe being Joe” and just The Donald being The Donald.
So, who won the debate? Who cares, as long as there was plenty of butter on the popcorn.