RSS Feed for This PostCurrent Article

Joke Revue: Obama Squandering America’s Precious Supply of Enemies

View the article’s original source
Author: Bob Neer

Borowitz:

Obama Squandering America’s Precious Supply of Enemies

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—By easing tensions with Cuba and now Iran, President Obama is “recklessly squandering America’s precious supply of enemies,” the leader of a conservative think tank said on Tuesday.

“Our adversarial relationships with Cuba and Iran took years of frostiness and saber-rattling to maintain,” Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of the Washington-based Institute for Infinite Conflict, said. “Thanks to the President, decades of well-crafted hostility have been thrown out the window.”

According to Dorrinson, fears abound in conservative circles that the President might be “capriciously casting about for other powder kegs to defuse” during his remaining time in office.

“If his shameful record is any guide, he’ll probably try to disarm North Korea,” Dorrinson said. “That’s the doomsday scenario.” …

Daniel Kurtzman:

“After severing ties with Donald Trump, NBC is reportedly in talks with comedian George Lopez to take over ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ So Trump’s greatest nightmare came true. A Hispanic guy took his job.” –Seth Meyers

“President Obama said yesterday that education is the key to reducing the prison population. Though apparently power tools also work.” –Seth Meyers

“It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, ‘That’s great! Wait, WHAT?’” –Jimmy Fallon

“Today Scott Walker announced that he is running for president, making him the 15th Republican candidate to enter the race. Which I think means we get the 16th one for free. I’ve got a punch card.” –Jimmy Fallon

Trackback URL



Post a Comment