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A Report from Parody Central

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Author: dianeravitch

A reader called NY Teacher sent the following comment:

“Welcome to Parody Central. They almost make this too easy.

“My apologies to Mr. Zimmerman:

“Must Be Bubbled-In” (Blowin in the Wind)

How many tests must a child withstand
Before we can kill this scam?
How many years will we need to resist?
With so many heads in the sand?
Yes, how many tests must our children endure?
Before test-and-punish is banned?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again.

Yes, how many years can Arne still test?
Before he ends up like Rhee?
Yes, how many years can he still insist?
Before even Bill disagrees?
Yes, how many times can Congress turn its head?
Pretending they just cannot see?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again.

Yes, how many tests must a child still take?
Before we really know why?
Yes, how many doubts must one nation have?
Before we can hear children cry?
Yes, how many fails will it take till we know
That too many people have lied?
Right answers my friend, must be bubbled-in
Right answers again and again

And if you’re a Paul Simon fan:

When we look back at
All the crap they taught in pre-school
It’s a wonder
Kids can think at all
This lack of rigor in education
Has hurt them some
Why can’t they close-read the writing on the wall

Common – Core- ore-ore
It ‘em gives questions full rigor
Marches to just one drummer
Makes them know all the world’s a gritty day
I got a Coleman standard
Love to give a Pearson test
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
So Ravitch don’t take our Common Core away
If you took all the teachers we knew
Back in high school
And brought them all together for one night
We know they’d couldn’t match
Arne’s weak imagination
Everything looks worse in black and white

A little Neil?

The Testing and the Damage Done

We caught you knockin’
at our classroom doors
You test our babies,
with your Common Core
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

You hit the cities
all across the land
We watched you testing
with your voodoo VAM
Wrong, wrong, the damage done.

We sing the song
because we hate your plan
We know that none
of you can understand
W h y k i d s
keep on, op-ting out.

I’ve seen the testing
and the damage done
We want no part of it for anyone
But now reform is
like a settin’ sun.”

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